if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
