My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude i'm inner monologue high
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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