There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
