I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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