i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
