I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
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we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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