i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
