i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
