Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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