I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
