That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
