Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
