Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize