She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
