We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
