just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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