i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
