i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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