We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
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Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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