I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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