i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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