You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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