I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
