I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
