She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
