Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
