I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
