Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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