??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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