Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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