Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
