You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize