So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
