I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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