one two three fourrrrnication!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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