So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
