stop calling my apartment porn island.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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