He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize