Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
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I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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