It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
