i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
