Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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