508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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