Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
