If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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