I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
