would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
