is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
