She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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