i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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