...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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