i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
