listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
