I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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