I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize