Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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