So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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