TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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